That Time an Asshole Crashed and (Almost Literally) Burned In Front of Me [Reblog]

Wes over at NearlyWes allowed me to defile their blog with a cheaply thrilling true story of a near auto accident of mine. All it needs is sex to round out its pulp fiction-ness. Go check it out and the rest of Wes‘ blog!


If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent too much of your life watching videos of vehicles colliding with things they have no business colliding with (e.g. walls, rivers, ditches, moving cars, parked cars, etc.) And if you’re anything like me, you probably cry yourself to sleep at night.

But that’s neither here nor there. Let’s get on with the relevant story:

My partner Moose – yes, that is the name his mother didn’t give him – and I had spent the better part of the afternoon hanging out on the banks of the Columbia River east of Portlandia. It was summertime, so half of the Portland metro area was gathered along the Columbia to bask in the coruscating glory of the sun while dipping their toes in the river. This is not where our story takes place.

At the end of our Nicholas Sparks-worthy afternoon, we and the rest of the weekend warriors were reluctantly returning to…

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White Elephants [Reblog]

Following the scary results of Super Tuesday, this poem by the inimitable Lexborgia over at Nerd on the Bridge feels especially relevant. Please head over and check out his work and show some solidarity with a like and/or comment on his page!


nerd on the bridge

In the heartland of America,
betwixt homesteads billowed by corn fields,
elephants trumpet,

patriots, of moral rectitude,
imbued by founding fathers
to alter the course of time that waits on no man.

God’s own country,
by the enemies of celibacy
and women left irate for exploitation
of rape that’s not legitimate, is under threat.

Four more years
of depraved society
is not what this country needs

men and women bred
to smite the unrighteous,
that judicious drove
beguiled with ideas
such as climate change,
enhanced by the insidious;
corporations aren’t people, living wage,
single-payer healthcare, mockery of prayer,
and opposition to benefit cuts for lazy democrats.

The elephant men,
righteous red, the head
above the white underneath,
will take the country back, in 2016,

an American Dream,
of deliverance,
from the fallacies
of a Kenyan born imposter,
whose ill-fostered dreams
of morality
chastised Wall Street,
then sold them…

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