I sit hunched over the glaring glow of my laptop in this piled high laundry wasteland that is my bedroom and I sigh. My roommates are outside in the living room “oo-ing” and “aw-ing” over the latest episode of BBC’s Planet Earth II. A creature just narrowly and dramatically escaped the clutches of death from the sounds of it. I can’t decide if I yet regret mixing a mug of ice cream with a glass of wine.
It’s been over two months since I’ve last composed a piece for this blog. In the past year, not only have I dropped blogging twice after having promised to post regularly; I have also failed a required class that would have seen me get my damned Bachelor’s degree by now. I have applied for, gotten, and subsequently slacked off on freelance writing opportunities from three different organizations, including a content creation internship. In addition, I have been recklessly living outside of my means and thus have been deeply dipping into my savings. My psyche has likely blocked out other failures of the past year.
My life is not going in the direction I wanted for myself.
And oddly, that’s okay.
This isn’t an inspirational post. There are already plenty out there. (I’ll link to some below.) What your reading is mere catharsis – a confessional, albeit partially mostly alcoholically motivated. But that’s life. Or my life, at least. And you are more than welcome to join this curious, lonely tribe.
P.S. I hesitate to write “I’M BACK, BITCHES” because I make no promises of posting regularly again. But I did want to say that I missed you all and hope the holiday season has and will be treating you well.
To read more on failure:
- 10 Life Lessons I Learned from Surviving My 20s | Mark Manson
- Falling short: seven writers reflect on failure | The Guardian
- If You Don’t Know What To Do With Your Life, Read This | Lifehack
- We are nothing (and that is beautiful): Alok Vaid-Menon [TEDxMiddlebury] | YouTube
Oh god, I feel you. There are always so many things to do. A billion trillion different projects, which have often the potential to support one another (blog where to write stuff which could at the same time promote other stuff you’re working on), plus: social life, eating, reading, discovering new music, going to the toilet, sleeping, cleaning your room, showering, and maybe also relaxing sometimes if you don’t want to burn your brains.
I think failure is physiological.
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Cliche: So many things to do, so little time. But we make due with what we have. And maybe we cheat here and there. I think know what you mean about failure being physiological. It takes a toll. I feel it molding me – hopefully for the better. Thank you for your empathy!
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I totally get the catharsis thing. Writing’s a cool way to do that. We all get into our funks sometimes. Hope you feel happier soon… I’d do the ice-cream with some rum though.
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Ooo, rum sounds good, too. I’ll have to try that! Thanks!
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Chill.Blogging is no priority;you gotsta get paid -so graduate.
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Thanks, Lex. Missed your content!
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You need not make promises. Hope you have a pleasant holiday season
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Thank you – and you as well!
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I think we’ve all been there. It’s good to come across an honest blog post like this that exemplifies that. Thanks for writing.
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I don’t know how honest I am 😉 But thank you for dropping by all the same.
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