That Time an Asshole Crashed and (Almost Literally) Burned In Front of Me [Reblog]

Wes over at NearlyWes allowed me to defile their blog with a cheaply thrilling true story of a near auto accident of mine. All it needs is sex to round out its pulp fiction-ness. Go check it out and the rest of Wes‘ blog!

NearlyWes

If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent too much of your life watching videos of vehicles colliding with things they have no business colliding with (e.g. walls, rivers, ditches, moving cars, parked cars, etc.) And if you’re anything like me, you probably cry yourself to sleep at night.

But that’s neither here nor there. Let’s get on with the relevant story:

My partner Moose – yes, that is the name his mother didn’t give him – and I had spent the better part of the afternoon hanging out on the banks of the Columbia River east of Portlandia. It was summertime, so half of the Portland metro area was gathered along the Columbia to bask in the coruscating glory of the sun while dipping their toes in the river. This is not where our story takes place.

At the end of our Nicholas Sparks-worthy afternoon, we and the rest of the weekend warriors were reluctantly returning to…

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