Recently, an organization called Project Consent put out a series of these videos:
Cute, right? Disembodied body parts with minds of their own having the ability to consent to or deny sex – adorable!
When I first watched these clips, I thought they were disarmingly cute – how many times am I going to say “cute” in this post? However, upon sleeping on it [insert “sleeping” as a euphemism for “sex” joke here], this series ultimately felt incomplete. Sure, if it’s not a “Fuck Yes” from her, then it should be a “no.” However, none of the videos actually show the guys actually asking for consent. These scenarios only involved the guys (or guy parts) advancing blindly and then backing off at her discomfort. That’s a step in the right direction, but not bold enough.
Consent can be sexy. Women shouldn’t have to say “no” only after the unwanted advances begin. They should be given the opportunity to say “no” before anything happens, too. Explicitization, agreeing on things with you partner(s) beforehand, doesn’t have to be a bore. Here’s a Buzzfeed video that does a good job of introducing the subject:
I know I still have a lot to work on in my personal life with regard to consent and it’s good to see consent slowly, but surely becoming more normalized in this culture. Thanks for reading.
Had you seen these videos before – what were your reactions? What are your thoughts and feelings around consent? How do you handle asking for or responding with consent?
Read more:
- Fuck Yes or No | Mark Manson
- I Take My Tea Like I Take Sex – With My Consent | The Lonely Tribalist
- Navigating Consent: Debunking the “Gray Area” Myth | Everyday Feminism
- How 7 things that have nothing to do with rape perfectly illustrate the concept of consent | Upworthy
- Sarah Silverman’s rape tips for men really annoyed a lot of men | Quartz
[Header image source: Strategy]
The Lonely Tribalist 
I hadn’t watched the videos before.
My first impression was to ask if it is only boys who should be asking for consent? Is sex always one way, men initiating and women saying no?
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Indeed – that is another problem with this series. Heteronormative and disacknowledges, like you said, women having to ask for consent. That being said, as problematic as they can be, these videos were likely made more to open conversation rather than being comprehensive instruction manuals. So while I’m disappointed by its imperfection, I’m still glad this is being talked about more and more! Thanks for your thoughts, as always 🙂
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It is important it be talked about openly and boldly.
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