What a bastard.

Blogging awards are a great way to discover new blogs and circle jerk one another in salacious, blogalicious glee. They give the “awarder” a sense of power for being able to bestow a JPEG unto another and the “awardee” an ego boost akin to that post-oral comedown. *sigh* This is going to be a long post.

All seriousness aside, though, I’m f*cking flattered. lookingforhappiness e-mailed me and several other bloggers showing her appreciation for our obviously superior artistic prowess and now we’re somewhat obligated to pay it forward. I’ve had fun with blog awards with my past blogs and I’d like to continue that here. This is the way I like to do these blog awards:

• Not everyone likes to play the blog award game and that’s a-okay.
• Don’t feel obligated to answer the questions or nominate 37 other people. Just know that I enjoy reading your blog and would like other people to read it as well.
• Have fun.

So without further ado, let’s get on with the Liebster Award. Here are the “rules”:

• Link back to the person who nominated you. Check.
• Answer the questions given to you by the nominator. See way below.
• Nominate up to 11 other bloggers with less fewer than 200 followers. See just below. [Sorry, Mein Fuhrer, Grammar Nazi had to come out of the closet.]
• Create 11 questions for the nominees. See at the end.
• Notify all nominees via social media/blogs. In progress. 

And the nominees for blogs you should bother checking out in no particular order (with links to notable blog posts) are:

• ignorant girl: “men to avoid”
• Exochatter: “Hate For People”
• Spunky Chunk: “So I Guess Hairy Legs Aren’t Sexy?”
• Swiperella: “So you’re telling me Tinder isn’t for finding the one? Even if I am bring home to mom type material?”
• Plethoric Thoughts: “Discouraging marriage, machismo, and all this gender crap”
• The Unrelatable Teenager: “My Comfort In My Obsessions”
• heyheather83: “Love and Live Deeply”
• New Age Maiden: “My Journey Through Domestic Violence“

lookingforhappiness’s 11 questions answered here:

1. Insert the funniest picture of yourself you can find here…

I am not funny. And my image does not show up in cameras, so… Check your funny picture privilege.

2. When you were younger, what was it that you wanted to be? Did you make it?

Doctor, actor, teacher, astronomer, astronaut, Vanna White. Thank you for reminding me that I’m a failure.

3. With deep description, describe exactly what you do when you see a spider.

4. What was the first thing you wanted to achieve with your blog?

World domination.

5. You’re no allowed to write about that thing any more, what’s your next choice?

How terrible this world is for awkward people.

6. In the last week, what has made you the happiest?

Sitting in a city park, sharing a six pack with friends and talking about everything from covalent bonds to feminism before sharing heavenly lengua nachos.

7. Who are you most in love with, why?

Um…

8. If you could be anyone, who would you be?

The guy in this free stockphoto.

Or Amanda Palmer.

9. What is the worst thing you have done while drunk? Be honest… nobody likes a liar.

Lay myself down on the side of a hill in the Montana mountains. And then relieve my bowels while lying down because I was too nauseous to get up. At least I had enough brain cells in reserve to pull my pants down. #sexyandyouknowit

10. What’s better the new Thomas the thank engine, or the old one? (you may use google)

I… I don’t know how to answer this question.

11. urm, I’m running out of ideas now… what’s your favourite colour?

The color of the blood of the innocent. Jk- blue.

11 questions you’re not obligated to answer:

1. What would you do with $6 in pennies?
2. What’s the last dream you remember?
3. What’s your favorite YouTube channel (or website, if you don’t partake in the YouTubes)
4. A/S/L?
5. Quick: Choose an item within reach – that will be what you use to defend yourself in the robo-zombie apocalypse. What is it?
6. Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?
7. Red pill or blue pill?
8. What are the winning lottery numbers?
9. What is your name?
10. What is your quest?
11. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Thanks again to lookingforhappiness for the Liebster Award. Check out the blogs above and feel free to answer any of the questions in the comments below, even if you weren’t “officially” nominated.